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Dana's Delirium; Good Luck Chuck
By Jim Terwoord
D-Day for the UFC has come and gone in their first ever invasion of
Hotlanta for UFC 88 last Saturday night. But before we review Chuck
Liddell becoming a bug on the Rashad Evans windshield and Matt Hamill
getting hammered, let me say the UFC didn't see fit to give me press
credentials. So you're getting the view of a "man in the crowd" who paid
$500 for his tickets - the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
At the press conference for UFC 88 back in May, Dana White, UFC
president and motor mouth promised the "the most exciting live sports
event you'll ever see." Well, we can't get enough MMA so that's a start.
And in fact there was a lot to like, but also plenty of room for
improvement.
Let's start with the Phillips arena sightlines. White told the press "if
you've never seen MMA live, you'll love it." Well, maybe if you're
sitting cage side - but pity the folks in nosebleed country. And with
the cage lighting booms set directly in front of the scoreboard video
monitors - like a bird cage in front of your flat screen - they didn't
get a lot of help.
My lovely wife was similarly unimpressed by the musical accompaniment.
The steady diet of raucous rap set her teeth on edge. She likened it to
Rampage Jackson singing with his mouthpiece in - and it had her
hankering for the oldies rock at Wild Bill's. But not for entrance
anthems of Hendo (Lunatic Fringe), Hamill (Simple Man) and Franklin (For
Those About to Rock), she said the night would have been a total musical
loss. And she claims the youngsters in the beer line felt the same way.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about the night was the lack of MMA
knowledge among the fans in the stands. The dudes in our section seemed
to know more about the referees than the fights and little or nothing
about strategy, tactics, fighters or their records. They often rooted
for whoever was winning at the time, changing "allegiance" mid round,
more intent on impressing one another than enjoying the action. More
than a few appeared loud mouthed and brain dead.
White is fond of saying how popular MMA is among the "coveted" 18-34
year old age demographic. Wikipedia says that makes up about 20% of the
U.S. population of roughly 300 million. So I guess the rest of us are
chopped liver? If the UFC ever hopes for "mainstream" acceptance, they
have a lot of work to do. This was not a PG 13 family night. There were
more "truckers" and "mother truckers" tossed around than in the
Cleveland Browns Dawg Pound. If the UFC ever hopes to have 8 years olds
wearing B.J. Penn t-shirts, this will have to change.
During a trip to the restroom I was accosted by a very drunken youngster
who said I looked like "I'd been around." He was mumbling something
unintelligible about an incident that had occurred in the john. I'm
still trying to figure that one out. Not to be outdone, an idiot in the
row behind us fell over my wife and me and into the row in front of us,
covering me with beer. The second time he did it, I made it clear that
the 18-35 demographic was about to become one short in his case.
Meanwhile, Dana White says he'd like to see this show in the Olympics!
Now for the good part - there were some fights too! The under card
sported a couple of clunkers, Carneiro-Chonan and Brown-Kim that my wife
called the two worst MMA fights she has ever seen. That pretty much sums
it up. The crowd didn't like the Brown loss by a split judges' decision
- too bad. I wasn't impressed by either fighter.
Jason McDonald tried to right the ship with a nifty submission of Jason
Lambert in the second round. Lambert came close to submitting McDonald
earlier with a tight guillotine choke at the end of the first round.
Tim Boetsch got Michael Patt rethinking his career path with a
thunderous KO early in the first round of in their light heavy match up.
Nate Marquardt left Martin "the Hitman" Kampman, dazed and confused on
the fence in their middleweight tangle after nailing him with a volley
of combinations that would have stunned an ox.
Thiago Tavares and Kurt Pellegrino had probably the best fight of the
night with a three round war that went to the judges. With Pellegrino
winning the first and Tavares the second, it all came down to the final
stanza. Pellegrino, who has been known to sport bright red hair in
previous fights, had his blond locks stained crimson with Tavares'
blood. The judges gave it to Pellegrino.
Dan Henderson played it way too cautious for our liking in a judges'
decision over Rousimar Palhares, ten years his junior. Looking more like
he was fighting "not to lose," rather than win, Henderson won a decision
that was boring with a capital "B."
New to the 205 pound weight class, Rich Franklin took a page from the
Chuck Liddell "painted toe nail" book, sporting pink shorts in his light
heavy debut against Matt Hamill. Apparently they worked, as Franklin
earned a stunning KO victory over buddy Hamill, earning instant
credibility as a 205 pound contender.
As for Chuck Liddell - well it's been a nice run, but it's over. If the
Jackson, Jardine and Evans team has found your kryptonite, everyone else
has too. Invest that last check, gather up some of your older buddies
(Hendo, the Axe Murderer and probably the Natural) and let us remember
you the way you were - exultant in your success - rather than a heap on
the canvas.
As for Dana - you are never going to be bigger than the NFL this way.
More people will watch the NFL today than watch the UFC all year. And
that includes geezers like me and 8 year old kids, not just the
"coveted" 18-35 year old demographic. Not that things can't change - and
we're rooting for you. But, if you want to play in the big leagues, you
first need to learn the rules. If the NFL can learn to keep fans from
peeing in restroom sinks and shouting F-bombs from every row, the UFC
can too. Until then, despite all those pay-per-views, you're going to
remain more "underground" than you'd like to be.
The views expressed are the author's and not necessarily those of GEORGIAMMA.COM.
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